Transformers:Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
by RedEyesOnTheHorizon
Summary: Has your Ratchet broken? Thinking of ordering a First Aid? Read all about how to ensure maximal enjoyment of your transformer.
1. Ratchet

**Ratchet: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a ill-tempered Ratchet the Hatchet. To ensure the proper behavior, please read this manual.

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Ratchet **

Orientation:None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 3/13/10

Coloring: Red and White

Height: 56 Ft

Weight: 4 Tons

Installation:

Your **Ratchet **comes already made. All you have to do is plug the cable inside his neck to a car. Viola! You have a robotic life form. Remember though to unplug the cable as he **Will **drain it of power.

Accessories:

Your **Ratchet** comes with

A handy communicator

A lovely silver throwing wrench

A picture of him and First Aid

Medic Grade High-Grade

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Ratchet **will follow him to the last breath. Be careful though that your **Optimus Prime** actually shows up for medical appointments.

**Ironhide:** Friendly to annoyance. Your **Ratchet **will get fed up with having to repair him all the time and will break out that High-Grade.

**Sideswipe:** Extreme Idiocy to lover. You have been warned. Wrenches will fly.

**Sunstreaker:** Same with Sideswipe. Except just that much more vain about it.

**Prowl:** Worried for him. Your **Sideswipe **and **Sunstreaker **units will cause your **Prowl **to crash causing **Ratchet **to fix him.

Function Settings:

Medic: Your **Ratchet **will come in this mode. He will fix any broken thing from machinery to humans.

Drinking Buddy:This where you worry for your **Ratchet**. He has an addiction to High-Grade and will drink any after a hard shift in the med-bay.

Party Animal: This will only be unlocked after Drinking Buddy. Your **Ratchet **will be too far gone to see the police at the door.

Autobot: Your **Ratchet **is a sparked Autobot. He will not become a Decepticon no matter what.

Needs:

Your **Ratchet **will require three cubes of Energon a day which you must order separately. He will try to work himself to death so make sure he has that Energon and have a **First Aid **or **Swoop **unit man the med bay while he recharges for 8 hours.

Troubleshooting:

Q: My **Ratchet **isn't fixing the injuries of my** Sunstreaker **and **Sideswipe!**

A:This is what we mean by idiocy. Please remind your **Sunstreaker** and **Sideswipe** that your **Ratchet **has a wrench.

Q: My **Ratchet **is throwing screwdrivers instead of wrenches!

A: Your **Ratchet** may have lost his wrench which you will have to find for him, or get your **Sunstreaker** and **Sideswipe** to do for you as their punishment. He may also have forgotten what a wrench is. Gently inform him of what a wrench is and he will get the picture.

Q: My **Ratchet** is flirting with my **First Aid!**

A: Gently inform your **Ratchet** that **First Aid** does not like being molested. If he does, lock the two in a room and play romantic music through the air duct.


	2. Smokescreen

**Smokescreen:**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the not-so-proud owner of a gambling Smokescreen!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Smokescreen**

Orientation: None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Coloring: Blue, Red, White, Yellow, Black and Green

Height: 50 Ft

Weight: 3.5 Tons

Installation:

Your **Smokescreen **comes ready made. To start him up, just fill him up with regular old diesel. If you want to though, get a **Jolt **unit and just shock him until he starts. Bots R' Us is not responsible for hyper Smokescreen units.

Accessories:

Your **Smokescreen **comes with:

A handy communicator

A worn book of notes on all the **Autobot **units

A bag of reports to your **Optimus Prime** unit

A list of who owes him money

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Smokescreen **unit is an undercover spy in the **Autobot **ranks for this unit. Bots R' Us is not responsible for deaths regarding angry units.

**Powerglide:** Your **Smokescreen **unit is a teammate to this unit. Your **Powerglide **will be vaguely annoyed to royally pissed at your **Smokescreen**. Just because **Smokescreen **calls him P.G. does not mean you can.

**Mirage:** An endless supply of gambling money for your **Smokescreen **to coerce.

**Bosch:** Your **Smokescreen** owes this unit big time. His teammates, not so much.

Function Settings:

Gambler:This is the default setting for your **Smokescreen.** Do **NOT**

touch his money. Ever.

Spy: Your **Smokescreen **is a undercover spy in the **Autobot **ranks.

Refunds will not be available for damaged units from pissed **Autobot **units.

Mopey: Your **Smokescreen** will occasionally become depressed and mopey. Calmly give him a hug and 40 dollars. He will then return to his default setting.

Autobot: Your Smokescreen is an Autobot, henceforth his compatibility with **Decepticon **units will be to kill them. This has been questioned with a few of our test run units.

Needs:

Your Smokescreen will require four cubes of Energon a day. Please remember that he will gamble them away if he has a chance so when you give them to him, watch him drink them. He requires 7 hours of recharge but if you have a **Prowl **unit, he will likely get 4.

Troubleshooting:

Q: My **Smokescreen** has gambled away my money!

A: This is what gambler means. Your problem, you deal with it.

Q: My** Smokescreen** seems to enjoy flirting with bonded mechs. How do I stop this?

A: Take your **Smokescreen** into a corner and tell him that if he flirts with certain mechs, you will render him unable to have children.

Q: My **Smokescreen** is red and seems to show off more than usual.

A: Oh lord, someone sent you a **Powerglide **unit. We are so sorry. We are afraid that we can not do refunds or switch items. We apologize for the inconvenience.


	3. Prowl

**Prowl:**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the {hopefully} intelligent owner of a logical **Prowl**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Prowl**

Orientation: None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Coloring: Black, Red, and White

Height: 47.6 Ft

Weight: 5.2 Tons

Installation:

Your **Prowl **unit comes ready made with a lovely magazine. Simply read the magazine for a few minutes and your **Prowl **unit will come around on its own.

Accessories:

Your **Prowl **comes with:

A handy communicator

A fresh book of troublemakers in the **Autobot **ranks

A bag of reports to your **Optimus Prime** unit

A list of punishments

A rule book

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Prowl **unit respects this unit and will follow his orders to the nail. Be warned of your **Prowl **sleeping when he shouldn't be. Talk to your **Optimus Prime **unit about over doing it.

**Jazz: **Your **Prowl** will love this unit to being bffs for life. Be careful though with your **Jazz **unit's loud music. **Prowl **units have sensitive audio receptors.

**Bluestreak:** A prankster that your **Prowl** will pity. Restrain your **Sideswipe **and **Sunstreaker** units from molesting him in your **Prowl's** visual range.

**Ratchet:** Your **Prowl** tends to annoy **Ratchet **units. A lot. For the safety of your **Prowl **unit's head, please remember to feed and tuck your **Prowl** into bed.

Function Settings:

Tactician:There is a reason he is the **Autobots** second in command. And it isn't because he looks good in a mini-skirt.

Stand-in Leader: Your **Prowl** will be fine at leading an army. For a while.

Drinking Buddy: Your **Prowl** will occasionally drink High-Grade and if that happens, get a **Ratchet** or **First Aid** unit stat. A hungover **Prowl** unit is not a happy **Prowl** unit.

Autobot: Your **Prowl** is an Autobot, henceforth his compatibility with **Decepticon **units will be to kill them. This has been questioned with a few of our test run units.

Needs:

Your **Prowl** will require six cubes of Energon a day. Please remember that **Prowl **units have a tendency only to have one or two. Recharge is necessary for 10 hours. Or wrenches will fly.

Troubleshooting:

Q: My **Prowl **has locked himself in his room and refuses to come out!

A: Have your **Sideswipe** and **Sunstreaker** units apologize for whatever they did. Then send a **Jazz** unit in and lock them in the room. Open in three days and good as new!

Q: My** Prowl** seems to enjoy flirting and listing to loud music. What's wrong with him?

A: Once again, we here at Bots R' Us have made an mistake. We have sent you a **Jazz** unit. We don't give refunds or do swaps. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Q: My **Prowl **has a messed up tattoo. His says "To Punish and Enslave". Also, he only responds to **Barricade**. What's up with him?

A: You ordered from the wrong company, that's what's up. Next time you want a deception, contact Galvatron and Seeker, Underwater Base, Earth.


	4. Ironhide

**Ironhide: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the idiot owner of a trigger-happy **Ironhide**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Ironhide**

Orientation:None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 3/14/10

Coloring: Red and White

Height: 50 Ft

Weight: 6 Tons

Installation:

Your **Ironhide **comes already made. The start up will be a tad slower due to the age of this unit. As he will come in vehicle mode, all you have to do is leave a cup of decaf Energon in front of him and his motor running. He's be up in about, oh, 20 minutes. You could also just yell "**Decepticon**!".

Accessories:

Your **Ironhide** comes with

A handy communicator{with your **Ratchet **unit on speed dial}

A book on WWII weaponry

A picture of him and **Chromia**

Many, many, **Working, **guns

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Ironhide **will follow him to the last breath. Your **Ironhide **will ignore though some orders and just blow the place up anyway.

**Ratchet:** Friendly to annoyance. Your **Ratchet **will get fed up with having to repair him all the time and throw a wrench at him.

**Bluestreak:** Your **Ironhide **likes this unit until it starts talking. Then, you take away the guns.

**Sunstreaker:** Your **Ironhide **despises this unit as it tends to paint him pink.

**Sideswipe:** Your **Ironhide** will despise this unit just as much as his brother. These units also tend to get Ironhideunits hung-over.

Function Settings:

Soldier: Your **Ironhide **will come in this mode. He will shoot first and think later. Put him in battle and watch him shoot anything with two legs.

Drunk:** Ironhide **units tend to get themselves drunk with a **Ratchet** unit or **Optimus Prime** unit. They will do this regularly if they don't get enough attention. Remember to hug and cuddle your **Ironhide** regularly.

Depressed: Remember that this function setting is only unlocked after Drunk. This is where you get any **Medic** unit or a **Smokescreen** unit. And panic. Don't forget the panicking.

Autobot: Your **Ironhide **is a sparked **Autobot**. He will not become a **Decepticon** no matter what. He will also shoot anything with a marking that is purple.

Needs:

Your **Ironhide **will require two and a half cubes of Energon a day. He must get six hours of recharge at least a day.

Troubleshooting:

Q:My** Ironhide's **aim seems to be off.

A:Take him down to the nearest shooting range and tell him to shoot. Then drive away really fast when he wrecks the place.

Q: My **Ironhide** seems to hit on my **Ratchet** unit!

A: Your **Ironhide **is simply expressing his feelings. If he is already bonded to another unit however, then feel free to tell the bonded unit.

Q: My **Ironhide **seems to like dancing to Hannah Montana and watching JONAS. What's wrong with him?

A: Your **Ironhide** seems to have been exposed to too many girls and is loosing his manliness. Take away the girls, JONAS, and Hannah Montana for a week and you should have your regular, shooting maniac.


	5. Bumble Bee

**Bumble Bee: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the awesome owner of an adorable **Bumble Bee!**

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Bumble Bee**

Orientation:None

Alignment: **Autobot**

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 3/14/10

Coloring: Yellow, Black, and Red

Height: 32 Ft

Weight: 2 Tons

Installation:

Your **Bumble Bee** comes ready made. Simply rub his back until he onlines then teach him to walk as he is delivered in sparkling mode.

Accessories:

Your **Bumble Bee** comes with

A handy communicator

A map of the **Ark** and **Nemesis**

Blackmail of **Sunstreaker** and **Sideswipe** units

Stingers

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Bumble Bee** likes this unit very much and respects him. Be careful that your **Bumble Bee** doesn't stalk him though.

**Ratchet:** Your **Bumble Bee** unit will somewhat afraid of this unit but will still seek him out if he is hurt.

**Cliffjumper**: As a fellow **Minibot** unit, your **Bumble Bee** somewhat likes him.

**Sunstreaker:** Your **Bumble Bee** gets picked on and bullied by this unit because of his height.

**Sideswipe:** Your **Bumble Bee** hates this twin just as much as his brother.

Function Settings:

Spy: Your **Bumble Bee** unit is part of the special operations team so if your plans for a surprise party are suddenly stolen, ask him where he put them.

Soldier: Your **Bumble Bee** unit is also a soldier in the **Autobot** ranks. Beware of flying bullets.

BFF: Your **Bumble Bee** unit is adorable, sweet, and the best Autobot to hug. Beware of hyper fan girls!

Autobot: Your **Bumble Bee **is an** Autobot**. Anytime he sees something with the **Decepticon** insignia on it, he will A}Shoot it, or B}Run to you.

Needs:

Your **Bumble Bee** unit requires you to feed him 2 cubes of Energon a day and to tuck him in at 7:00 and wake him up at 8:00. He likes to be sung twinkle, twinkle, little star at bedtime.

Troubleshooting:

Q:My **Bumble Bee** is red and seems grumpy.

A: As we said before, we are are experiencing difficulties in our factories. We have sent you a **Cliffjumper instead**. We apologize for this mistake.

Q: My** Sideswipe **unitseems to hit on my **Bumble Bee** unit!

A: That's isn't flirting, that's a glitch. Also, that might actually be a **Cliffjumper unit**, not a **Sideswipe** unit.


	6. Red Alert

**Red Alert: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a paranoid **Red Alert!**

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Red Alert**

Orientation:None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 3/14/10

Coloring: Red and White

Height: 48 Ft

Weight: 4 Tons

Installation:

Your **Red Alert** comes ready made. Just yell out, "Traitor!" and you'll be just fine. Somewhat.

Accessories:

Your **Red Alert** comes with

A handy communicator

A list of troublemakers

A picture of him and **Inferno**

A rule book

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Red Alert** will obey this unit unless he feels it is a threat to the Ark's safety. Like a kitten crossing the human section's hallway.

**Ratchet:** Your **Red Alert** will be a good acquaintance with this person after the many attacks of paranoia.

**Bluestreak:** As a sometimes fellow troublemaker to the twins, your **Red Alert** will somewhat dislike this unit.

**Sunstreaker:** Your **Red Alert **despises this unit as it tends to break many safety rules.

**Sideswipe:** Your **Red Alert** will despise this unit just as much as his brother.

Function Settings:

Safety Director: Your **Red Alert** will arrive in this function and will most likely be paranoid as well. If need, bring him to a **Ratchet**, **First** **Aid**, or **Inferno** unit to fix him.

Soldier:Your **Red Alert** is a somewhat good fighter. Remember his paranoia though.

Autobot: Your **Red Alert **is deadly afraid of any** Decepticon** so if you see one, notify your local **Protectobot unit.**

Needs:

**Red Alert** must recharge for 5 hours per 14 hours. He must drink a special Energon that you can get from any **Medic** unit.

Troubleshooting:

Q:My **Red Alert** is panicking!

A: Tell an **Inferno unit**. Simple.

Q: My **Red Alert** doesn't like me.

A: Your **Red Alert** doesn't trust you. Once again, simple.

Q: My **Red Alert** refuses to sleep by himself. He's crawling into my bed and taking all the blanket.

A: We see the problem. When you tuck him into bed, get into the bed with him. Or, by an **Inferno** unit to sleep with him. A giant "Teddy" works just fine too.


	7. Ultra Magnus

**Ultra Magnus:**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the heroic owner of an **Ultra Magnus**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Ultra Magnus**

Orientation: None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Coloring: Red, Blue, and White

Height: 49 Ft

Weight: 6 Tons

Installation:

When your ready made **Ultra Magnus** unit arrives, just ask any **Prime** unit to tell him to boot up. He'll be on in no time.

Accessories:

Your **Ultra Magnus **comes with:

A handy communicator

A letter from an **Optimus Prime** unit

A bag of reports to your **Optimus Prime** unit

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Ultra Magnus** is a highly capable weapon of mass destruction under this unit. Congratulations on your new wrecking ball.

**Hot Rod:** Your **Ultra Magnus** believes this unit can do well in the world if it wasn't for the fact that he's almost as vain as a **Sunstreaker** unit.

**Hound:** This unit is a good friend to all **Ultra Magnus** units. Keep him around for a little bit more too. *waggles eyebrows*

**Galvatron:** Your **Ultra Magnus** will be used as a punching bag by this unit. Keep away. Far, far away.

Function Settings:

Soldier:** Ultra Magnus **unitsare soldiers first and foremost.

Leader: Your **Ultra Magnus** is a great leader. Be warned of him feeling self-conscious. If that's the case, give him two hugs and a teddy bear.

Fangirl Idol: **Ultra Magnus** units are smexy metallic gods. Use them, use them well.

Autobot: He is and always will be the very best **Autobot** ever.

Needs:

Your **Ultra Magnus** needs 4 Energon cubes a day and 10 hours of recharge. Be careful with high-grade though, he is a bit of a light-weight.

Troubleshooting:

Q: My **Ultra Magnus** is being chased by a **Galvatron** unit!

A: Bring in a **Cyclonus** unit and an **Optimus Prime** unit. That will sort every thing out.

Q: My **Ultra Magnus** seems to be quite the ladies man.

A: Unfortunately, a **Sunstreaker** or **Tracks** unit has probably told him that he's hot. Have someone tell him that femmes dig the shy types.


	8. Inferno

**Inferno:**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the safe owner of an **Inferno**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Inferno**

Orientation: None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Coloring: Red, White, and Black

Height: 41 Ft

Weight: 5 Tons

Installation:

Your ready made **Inferno** unit runs on fire extinguisher and water. Simply pour those into his mouth and he'll be up and running in no time.

Accessories:

Your **Inferno **comes with:

A handy communicator

A picture of him and **Red Alert **

A bag of reports to your **Optimus Prime** unit

A badge declaring him Fire Chief of Autobot City

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** **Inferno** units are programmed to follow this unit's every command.

**Red Alert:** Your Inferno will be madly in love with this unit. Be warned of little **Infernos** and **Red Alerts**.

**Hound:** This unit is a good friend of **Inferno **units.

**Megatron:** As this unit is an **Autobot**, coming into range of a Megatron unit may be damaging for his health.

Function Settings:

Soldier:Your** Inferno **can kick anyone's butt and is proud of that fact.

Fire Chief: You no longer have to worry about fire with this unit around. Just remember that he is picky and refuses anything other than top of the line fire extinguisher.

Autobot: He is an **Autobot**. End of story.

Needs:

Your **Inferno** will need 3 cubes of Energon daily. He will also require a berth with either a pillow of** Red Alert** or an actual **Red** **Alert** unit on it to get his 8 hours of recharge on.

Troubleshooting:

Q: My **Inferno** unit works all day and night at the local fire station!

A: Get a **Medic** unit or a **Red Alert** unit and it will be all good.

Q: My **Inferno** keeps having mechs flirt with him even though he's already bonded to my **Red Alert** unit.

A: Tell **Red Alert**. He will black mail them and get what he wants. A very apologetic **Inferno**.


	9. First Aid

**First Aid: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the loving owner of a kind, loving **First Aid**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** First Aid **

Orientation:None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 3/16/10

Coloring: Red, White and Black

Height: 40 Ft

Weight: 2.3 Tons

Installation:

Your **First Aid** is a lovely little ready made bot. Just tell any **Protectobot** unit to wake him up and they will nicely.

Accessories:

Your **First Aid** comes with

A handy communicator

A book on battlefield medicine.

A picture of him and **the Protectobots**

A picture of him and **Ratchet**

A life size **Ratchet** plushie.

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **First Aid** is an **Autobot**. Be careful though that any **Optimus Prime** unit doesn't order him to hurt anything. He will get upset. Then you'll have a pissed **Ratchet** unit.

**Ratchet:** Your **First Aid **is the apprentice to this unit. Your **First Aid** may even fall in love with this unit.

**Swoop:** As a fellow medic, your **First Aid** will like this unit a lot.

**Streetwise:** This unit is the big boss of the **Protectobots** themselves. Listen, young padawan, to the Jedi.

Function Settings:

Medic: Your **First Aid** is a medic to the **Autobots**.

Protectobot:All **First Aid** units are **Protectobots** first and foremost. Be warned of a panicking **First Aid**.

Adorable: **First Aid** units are adorable in every way. Drunk units will molest him.

Autobot: ** First Aid** units are indeed **Autobots**. They will refuse to fight though. If asked to do so, they will burst into tears and need a hug and their **Ratchet** plushie.

Needs:

All **First Aid** units require being bottle fed with two cubes of Energon daily. They will also require being tucked into a cot for 8 hours of recharge. They can also sleep with any **Protectobot** or **Ratchet** unit. They need 3 hours of play time daily with a **Bluestreak**, **Bumble Bee**, or **Protectobot **unit.

Troubleshooting:

Q:Fangirls are after my **First Aid**!

A:Tell **Blades**. He'll frighten off any fangirl/potential suitor/**Optimus** **Prime** unit that is bugging him.

Q: My unit is being molested by a **Prowl** unit!

A: **First Aid** units are quite attractive and will occasionally be molested. To stop this, send a **Jazz** unit to stop him. The **Jazz** unit will nip any molesting to the bud.

Q: My **First Aid** unit keeps bringing home injured animals and he just won't stop! If I tell him to stop, he cries. What do I do?

A: Your **First Aid** is simply following programming. Tell him that instead of bringing it home, bring it to the vet. Or if possible, the owner of that animal.


	10. Bluestreak

**Bluestreak: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the awesome owner of an adorable ADHD affected **Bluestreak**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Bluestreak**

Orientation:None

Alignment: Autobot

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 4/26/10

Coloring: Yellow, Red, Blue, and White

Height: 37Ft

Weight: 2 Tons

Installation:

Your **Bluestreak** unit comes asleep in a little baby bassinet. Just rock him until he wakes up, then feed him a bottle of warm Energon. He'll be fine once you give him his pacifier.

Accessories:

Your **Bluestreak** comes with

A handy communicator

A pacifier

A picture of him, **Sunstreaker**, and **Sideswipe**

5 bottles of warm Energon

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Bluestreak** won't really like this unit, due to not wishing to fight in the war between **Autobots** and **Deceptions**.

**Bumblebee:** Your **Bluestreak** will quite like this unit. They will be good friends for many vorns.

**Sunstreaker:** All **Sunstreaker** units will molest **Bluestreak** units on sight. Unless your **Bluestreak** unit is of age{16 vorns}, keep very far away. Or contact a local **Prowl** or **Ratchet** unit.

**Sideswipe:** **Bluestreak** units are common partners {usually unwilling} for this unit. He is also like his brother and will molest all **Bluestreak** units.

Function Settings:

Messenger:Your **Bluestreak** is quite fast, though not as fast as **Blurr** units. He will though get sidetracked by pretty flowers to bring home to you.

Sniper:** Bluestreak **units are very, very dangerous. They will shoot any **Decepticon** unit on sight. Warn any friends that find it funny to dress up as **Starscream** for Halloween.

Depressed: Your **Bluestreak** will become gloomy and upset due to the destruction of his home by the **Deceptions**. Give him a hug and a cuddle and see if he feels better. If that doesn't work, contact a **Prowl** unit and he'll feel better in no time.

Autobot: Your **Bluestreak** is an **Autobot,** although a reluctant one due to his hatred of war.

Needs:

A warm bottle of Energon is all your **Bluestreak** will require every 24 hours. He'll need a nap after he eats and a nap at 3 PM exactly or else you will have a very cranky Bluestreak unit.

Troubleshooting:

Q:I bought a second **Bluestreak **but he keeps getting confusedabout if he's** Bluestreak.**

A: **Bluestreak** units should never be bought twice. Smooth move.

Q: My **Bluestreak** unit keeps crying! What do I do?

A: Cuddle your **Bluestreak **unit then, if necessary, have a **First Aid** unit rock him to sleep.


	11. Elita One

**Elita-One:**Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the{hopefully female} owner of a aft-kicking, gun-wielding, **Elita-One**!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Elita-One**

Orientation: None

Alignment: **Autobot**

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Coloring: Pink and White

Height: 44 Ft

Weight: 3.8 Tons

Installation:

Your **Elita-One** unit will arrive within 2 weeks of ordering. Your delivering human has been instructed on how to turn it on for you.

Accessories:

Your **Elita-One** comes with

A handy communicator

A list of all femme **Autobots**

A bag of reports from **Chromia, Moonracer, and Arcee**

A to-do list

A rule book

A picture of her and **Optimus Prime**

Compatibility:

**Prowl:**Your **Elita-One** unit will maintain a love-hate relationship with this unit due to the fact that he's the reason that her **Optimus** **Prime** unit can't make their "Energon-and-Snacks" date.

**Chromia: Chromia **units are best friends with **Elita-Ones**. They will lend a hand to help, a shoulder to cry on, and a gun to shoot with.

**Megatron:** Your **Elita-One** unit will be mega-annoyed with this unit. He's the reason that her **Optimus Prime** unit is having to do so many reports. Beware the power of an angry femme.

**Moonracer:** Your **Elita-One** respects this unit, due to her being the medic responsible for her team. However, the relationship between to two is much better than an **Optimus Prime** unit and a **Ratchet** unit due to **Elita-One** units being programmed to show up for appointments.

Function Settings:

Leader: **Elita-One** units are good commanders. However, they do get carried away with the fact that their team got left behind on Cybertron.

Soldier: **Elita-One** units are great shooters but their real talent comes in sabotage and espionage.

Feminist:**Elita-One** units are very strong believers that femmes are just as good as mechs. Just don't introduce her to a **Sunstreaker** unit.

Autobot: **Elita-One** units are great examples of the **Autobot** way of life. Honest, Caring, Nice Paint Job, the works.

Needs:

Your **Elita-One** requires 5 cubes of Energon a day. She needs around 7 hours of recharge. If your **Elita-One** unit seem not to be recharging, contact your local **Optimus Prime** unit immediately.

Troubleshooting:

Q:My **Elita-One** unit seems not to care about her team!

A: Simple. Mention that a **Shockwave** unit is hacking the base and she'll leap into action!

Q: My **Elita-One** unit seems to be more moody than usual. What's wrong?

A: Okay, this is easy. Just tell any **Chromia** unit that your **Elita-One** has been neglected by her **Optimus Prime** unit and you should be good. I think.

Q: My **Elita-One **unit keeps hitting on my sister's **Ultra Magnus**!

A: If it's really that bad, i.e. she's already seeing someone else, tell her other that she's lonely. And annoyed. Don't forget the annoyed.


	12. Sunstreaker Guide

** Sunstreaker: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. My grandfather passed away so I had to come to terms with it. Cheers to all who continued reading!

Molli and Ratchet I thought was just too Mary-Sueish so I gave up. Sorry to that one person who voted for her.

* * *

Congratulations! You are now the crazy owner of a psychopathic, insane, narcissistic **Sunstreaker** unit!

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Sunstreaker**

Orientation:None

Alignment: **Autobot**

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 2/12/11

Coloring: Yellow and Black

Height: 40 Ft

Weight: 2.6 Tons

Installation:

Your **Sunstreaker** unit comes with paints in assorted colors and a police siren. Simply hide in an underground bunker and turn on the siren. Be prepared for swearing and lots of it. Don't expect him to be accepting of a "squishy" owner either. Just so you know.

Accessories:

Your **Sunstreaker** comes with

A handy communicator

A siren

A picture of him, **Bluestreak**, and **Sideswipe**

Paints in assorted colors

Easel and canvases

Compatibility:

**Optimus Prime:** Your **Sunstreaker** will either be pissed or respectful to this units. There is no other moods. Unless, you know, you set them up in a relationship with him. Which is awkward. {Is it?}

**Bumblebee:** **Sunstreaker **units get along splendidly, which could be a bad thing. Keep your eyes on them at all times. Molesting is not a good thing.

**Prowl**: **Sunstreaker** units think it's hilarious to annoy these units. It is but it can get painful should something bad happen to a Prowl unit, courtesy of a Jazz unit.

**Sideswipe: **As these units are programmed to get along wonderfully, most of the time, that is. They are brothers-on-arms, fellow pranksters, brothers, and occasionally, lovers.

Function Settings:

Jet-Judo Master: **Sunstreaker** units are absolutely geniuses in the sky and are kings of Jet-Judo. He will attack any low flying planes, in which case, contact you local **Ratchet** unit who will promptly yell and throw wrenches at him. Hilariously.

Soldier: **Sunstreaker** units are carnivorous. He'll maul anyone who comes near him. Bullies, mailmen, parents, you...

Autobot: Your **Sunstreaker** is an Autobot, due to the pressure from his brother, Sideswipe. Keep in mind though how close he is to destroying anyone, regardless of their allegiances.

Needs:

Not much really. We at Bots 'R Us recommend though that you get a **Sideswipe**,** Ratchet**,** Optimus Prime**,** Prowl**,or** Bluestreak** unit just to keep him in line. Or he could go all chainsaw massacre on you. Just saying.

Troubleshooting:

Q:My **Sunstreaker** unit is hitting on everyone bot he sees. What the heck am I supposed to do with a Casanovatron?

A: Um, okay...Just, uh, get him therapy?...God, no one complained about this before! I don't know alright!

Q: My **Sunstreaker** unit keeps swearing about how he can't get the trees right in his painting and how he's going to kill everyone! What do I do?

A: Okay, don't panic. We're doing that already. Just call in a **Sideswipe** unit and declare a state of emergency!


	13. Jazz

**Jazz: **Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

Congratulations! You are now the slightly eccentric owner of a grooving, moving, **Jazz** unit.

Technical Specifications:

Name:** Jazz**

Orientation:None

Alignment: **Autobot**

Manufacturer: Bots R' Us, Autobot City, Earth

Date of Production: 6/3/11

Coloring: Black and White

Height: 40 Ft

Weight: 2.6 Tons

Installation:

Your **Jazz** unit is one that is relatively easy to start-up. When it arrives, place any type of musical player {tape recorder, instrument, iPod, etc.} and start it up. Your Jazz unit will quickly online and begin dancing. Warning: just because Jazz is an Autobot, doesn't mean he can dance well. This is very important. Try perhaps a dance class or maybe even a Aerobics class. We hear they're all the rage.

Accessories:

Your **Jazz** comes with

A handy communicator

A complete collection of all the Beatles', Mac Dre's, and Madonna's works. Yeah, we know.

A picture of **Prowl**

Boom Box

Reports on Secret Ops. missions

Compatibility:

** Optimus Prime:** Totally thinks this **Autobot** is just, amazing. They will so be friends. Unless, they're like, not.

** Sunstreaker: **These units will occasionally get along, unless a **Sunstreaker** unit happens to annoy a **Prowl** unit, then there will be energon spilled. And it won't a **Jazz** unit's.

**Prowl**: BFFS! These units will live together, love together, and die together. These two would be like BFWSTAETs!

** Sideswipe: **As these units are programmed to get along wonderfully, most of the time, that is. They may be BFFs, brothers-in-arms, or perhaps enemies? o.0.

Function Settings:

Party Animal: Jazz units like to party and tend to spend any free time they have chatting up femmes, drinking some energon, or just going wild.

Sabateur: Jazz units are specialised to be saboteurs, and will fit this job to the t. Be careful though. He could end up booby trapping your house. Not like that's ever happened to us...

Autobot: Jazz units are notoriously loyal and will think he best of any Autobot. Be careful though. This could end up with him as a hostage and thinking he's at a tea party.

Needs:

Some good music, for sure. Some energon perhaps? Not too much though or he'll be drunk before the night's over. We're not really sure though because he keeps escaping us. Don't worry though, we've got all the glitches worked out. We think...

Troubleshooting:

Q:My **Jazz** unit can't seem to stop partying! He comes in at 5 in the morning and wakes up at 1 in the afternoon! What do I do?

A: Honestly, you've confused your teenager with your **Jazz **unit. Good luck trying to apologize for this.

Q: My **Jazz** unit seems to have no sense of personal space. I mean, he's already tried to hug me to death! Help!

A: Uh, well, no one's actually thought of that as a bad thing before, but maybe you could tell him this? Or just tell a **Prowl** unit. Whatever works.


End file.
